1. |
Nuclear Mind
02:01
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Let the bombs fall
I don’t think what we say really matters anymore
But I’ll tell you what we’ll all be dead before we find out
And that’s nothing to cry about
I’ve been having trouble trying to sleep
Drawing nightmares from all of my dreams
Maybe that’s what it really means
To be a visionary at my age
Maybe I’m just insane
Maybe got a real sick brain
I’m just full of bullshit and schemes
I don’t know what life means
So tell me if I tend to get out of line
It tends to happen from time to time
I’ve completely fallen apart no one put me back together
Properly
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2. |
Beginner Gains
03:55
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I’d run from all of you if I could
But I have nowhere to go
The sky came crashing down on me
Gravity’s a bitch (I know)
Tell me why I’m trapped in promiscuous elegance
Or why I can never leave
I can’t run any faster like they used to be so strong
I walked for a thousand miles in both our shoes
You couldn’t get off the fucking couch
You couldn’t stand up
You’ll never stand up
Why can’t you stand up for me
Don’t tell me we’re ok
Cuz nothing’s more toxic than the words I need you to stay
And tell me we’ll be fine
It’s crazy how I need you and you’re always on my mind
Tell me I’m not to blame
Tell me I’m not to blame
I know that people change
And I know I’m the one to blame that’s what you told me
what you sold me that last every single night and it’s not night And it’s morning how the fuck is it morning
Why am I awake and shaking I’m always shaking cold can’t get no sleep
So you’ll tell me we’ll persevere and Nothing said was so severe
I love you
But I love the fight so much more
I love the fight so much more
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3. |
Mr. Disassociation
03:04
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I could be anything I want if I could just be someone else
And I’m sick of these back and forth conversations with myself
You have no idea how unproductive this can be
Mr. Disassociation please let go of me
Ooo
C’mon Mr. Disassociation give me a break
I know that you’re trying to protect (forget last two choruses) me for my sake
But I gotta say I don’t need you that much these days
Ooo
C’mon Mr. Disassociation gimmie a break
It’s every night
Everyday
I just can’t seem to catch a break
And the way I always kick myself
Really brings me down
But I get back up
Yeah I’ll take my lumps
Cuz someday I might throw a punch
Who knows maybe that day
I could even win
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4. |
All My Heroes Are Dead
03:06
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I’m Bobby Kennedy,
Young and afraid
Discontent and disgruntled
So I step up to this stage
Maybe I’ll be someone better
But how,
I just can’t say
I’ll idolize them
Please let me be like him
I need to be something,
I need to be great
I’m Alinsky, I’m Moritz
Jefferson, Lafayette
Young and angry
And buried in debt
I am Bill Ayers, I am Voltaire
Less talented in writing
But radicalism is there
I am the Third Estate
The Abe Lincoln Brigade
I used to feel so young
But now I’m slowed by my age
I’m Charles Schultz, Chopin
I am Kharms
I am Handler
I’m Fink
I’m Gargarin
I am of the stars
No matter who I’d like to be
No matter what I try to be
And no matter what I’d die to see
When I see me,
I still see me
Well, I guess I have to be me
I don’t want to, but I guess I’ll be me
I’d rather do these things differently,
But I’m here and I’m stuck being me.
Now they’re all gone
Maybe if I waste myself I’ll be a benevolent god
Everyone loves a martyrdom and I’m bound to change the world
But maybe I’m just insane
(No matter who I’d like to be)
Maybe I’m just not ok
(No matter who I try to be)
I’m scratching at my destiny
(No matter what I’d die to see)
Because I fail to find other means
(When I see me, I’m still me)
So tell me if I tend to get out of line
(And if things had just gone differently)
It tends to happen from time to time
(If life had gone so differently)
I’ve completely fallen apart
(My heroes might be proud of me)
No one put me back together
(But I am me, only me)
Properly
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5. |
Raven Road
04:47
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Walk it off
Chin up and rub some dirt in it
Time will heal all wounds
Break these bones
And wear my shirt as a tourniquet
It’ll be warmer soon
These four doors
Have seen me at my very worst
It ain’t much
But home isn’t always a house
I’m naive for thinking I can make a difference
I’d rather hold on to hope
Remember me
Everything that I stood for
Everything deserves a chance
There’s nothing wrong with me
I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be
If you’d just believe
The world will end
And I will fall down the rabbit hole
You won’t care
Cuz I am so unremarkable
I understand
Why we are so divided
I understand
Why we hate
I understand
Pain is only temporary
And I understand
It still hurts
I understand
People are inherently evil
I understand
They can still do good
If they try they can still do good
We can still do good
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6. |
Broadway
02:42
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I’m not Jack Kelley
I will never be your angel of music
Still I’ll sing
Just to hope the message gets across to you someday yeah
Hard for you to see the Forest through the trees
I will burn it down if it’s what you need
What have I got to lose
I could walk away if I chose
If you’ll have me I’ll stay
It doesn’t matter anyways
Your voice is pretty
It’s so much prettier than mine
But the words are half as sure and twice as unkind
Where do you wanna be
If not with me
Say the word and you’re there
But you don’t care
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7. |
Cosmonaut
03:17
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There we are,
Feeling worlds apart,
It would take a cosmonaut,
To save you and I
We don’t have one now,
We don’t have solid ground
There’s no up,
There’s no down
In the void of space
So there we’ll go,
We’ll freeze and we’ll float
Unitl we come across something we know
That’s not the cold
Will we get there,
If I’m honest, it’s not very likely
But as far as it goes
I’m glad I got to be here with you, dear
With a flash of blue light,
You are gone
And now I float all alone
Gaining speed in the exosphere, wishing I was a cosmonaut
With a flash of red light,
I am gone,
And for a moment Earth has a new Sun.
Ashes in the atmosphere, wishing to be a cosmonaut
I wish I was different,
Something better than this,
Sitting and making up stories, about a life that doesn’t exist
I wish I was different,
That my life was just different
And if things were just different,
I could make my heroes proud
But I’m not that different
I’m not that different
No, I’m not different
I’m the same
Just like everyone else
I’m not Bobby Kennedy,
Though I’m young and afraid
And just like,
I’ll die on this stage
Maybe I’ll get better,
Maybe I’ll never change
The stage lights hit,
My heart skips
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8. |
||||
I know I’m evil for so many reasons
I haven’t found god and I won’t lie to children
I have befriended all of my demons
Why not they’ll be all that’s left of me when I’m gone
No one needs to know
Am I the only one who sees
What’s fundamentally wrong with you and me
I can’t do this on my own
But you’ve left me in the dust again
The starving artist is disenfranchised
Watch the life fade away from his eyes
Kiss me while you still have the chance
Might just be the last you have of me
Found my sanction in scriptures I could never write in blood
My skull exploded with ideals of a martyr
The writings on the wall it says
No one was born here
So No one must die
And I think about leaving like all of the time
Save your hypocrisies
Swallow your lies
I won’t need them where I’m going
And she said
No more romanticizing bullshit
You’re sick and you need help
I can’t carry the weight of both our worlds on my shoulders anymore
Lay down your arrows and hostilities
Maybe then you could truly see
I can tell you I love you all I want
But I can’t make you live
Who are you
Who are you to tell me what I feel
And what to say and what to think
And to decide what is real
I can’t do this without you
I’m gonna die without you
I can’t survive without you
I can’t live
Can’t you see you’ve fucking killed me
So give me the gun I’ve already got motives
I’ll martyr myself in the heart of the forest
You can tell me that it just isn’t worth it
No one will remember No ones name when I’m gone
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9. |
Moritz
03:59
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Oh how alone do I have to be
Before I break and kick the chair underneath
All of my friends have abandoned me
I’ll bleed myself dry in solitary
Take a piece of me until there’s nothing left
I don’t wanna feel a thing anymore
Say goodbye to me
I’ll show you how volatile I can be
If you look the other way I won’t say I’m ok
I’m ok I’m ok
I’ve been smoking too much as of late
My lungs are black and they’re starting to bleed
Oh god my life is a tragedy
All I do is waste my time wasting away
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10. |
California
04:08
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I’ll probably never make it to Broadway
Probably never hold your hand again
Probably never be anything I set out to be
Always look on the sunny side
While I’m sitting here scrambled on the sidewalk
Cuz I can’t practice the positivity that I preach
Bought a ticket to California
Gonna throw myself into the pacific
I’m gonna swim to Japan
If it kills me
And it will
My legs are gonna give out
Gonna make friends with the fish
Gonna watch the moon sink on the horizon while
Water steals my breath
Sing me to sleep
While my heart still beats
And try to tell me I’m not broken yet
Kiss away the pain
And tell me that you’ll stay
And teach me what it means to be complete
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Bullpup Lowell, Massachusetts
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