1. |
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Would you even hear a call to action if i shot you right in the ear
‘Cause every word I say goes up in smoke and disappears
I’ll be blunt I’m fed up with how you have chosen to behave
But the Televangelist says it’s ok to be depraved
Why do we live in this wicked, wicked world
How do we coexist in this wicked, wicked world
When hello is a peace sign that’s engraved into the hilt of a knife
First it’ll slash your tires then it’s lodged in your spine
I haven’t trusted a single person that I’ve talked to today
You can call me paranoid I’m just playing it safe
Self-medicating again
Cigarettes and bullets
Whatever takes off the edge of
Cocaine dreams
Could never be as sweet to me as infinite sleep
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2. |
Actor
03:04
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This is how it works
You’re you and then you’re not
It only ends once
Shows over hold applause
This is how it ends not in a bang but with a whimper
Not with a scream but with a whisper you just don’t have it like you used to
Take center stage
Yeah your spot is marked
Wanna hook them on you
Wanna light that spark again
Well no ones out there watching you in the dark
Tonight
You’re the star of the show but the audience is gone
Where’d they go
So step through the curtain
Make sure you’re in view
Give em the show you think they want you to
Oh this is how it starts
You have your costume on
You’ll step up on the stage the band will play you on
You’ll sing your heartbreak song
Hoping that they sing along
Hoping they share in your pain so you can get what you want
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3. |
Thoughts And Prayers
04:10
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Does your apathy pool up in your chest
Weigh you down while we both regress
The catalyst that kills us all
Baby’s choking on the atmosphere
A society that’s built on fear
If you can’t clear the air how do you expect to change
I don’t like you
Much
Go and tear me limb from limb
Ask me if I give a shit
You can’t punch me hard enough to feel it
Go and tell your fucking friends
No one likes me anyways
I won’t need them when the world is going to end
I don’t like you
So when my viscera fertilizes earth
Will we reap the seeds we’ve sown
With open minds and open arms
Mind you
Or join your morals at the bottom of the sea
Shallow water shallow grave for me
Shallow people never change
I’m not in the business of forgiveness anymore
So leave your bullshit apologies at the door
Now honey what are you crying for
You know, you know, you know, you know, you know
You’ve doomed us al
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4. |
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Welcome to the boys club
Commercial oppression a moral regression my gender ain’t clear
Grin fuck my lipstick then pocket the profit ally to the queer
Stage show injustice exploit for a headline and call it good grace
A laughable tragedy plastered clown all over my face
And I’m not trying to be evil
I’m just telling you the truth
We could all be better people if you fought for something bigger than you
And all I need is to get the fuck out of here
Some humanity to put my mind at peace
Trade morals for fame add clout to your name look like hell on wheels
Kill the survivor but keep cameras on me who cares how she feels
A defiant voice cracks somber through a bruised throat
Blood drips past her knee as you make a napkin of her suicide note
White hipster bravado sung with vibrato he's so slick
You’ll have to forgive him he’s not much for words only thinks with his dick
Try to outrun me block me on facebook but you can’t escape this
At the end of the day you still can’t sleep ‘cause your conscience is screaming rapist
And if I ever see your face around here again
I’m gonna burn you down
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5. |
Good Death
02:17
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This could have been a good life
I woulda been so happy with this
If I didn’t wrecking ball it like I always have
Like I surely did
This could have been a good life
This could have been a good way to live
If I had only been happy with the path I was on
If I could only have found a fix
I ain’t exactly what my mom and dad dreamed of when I was born
But honest to god just look at my sister
You can’t say that they weren’t warned
This could have been a good death
This could be a good way to go
It ain’t exactly what I wanted when I woke up this morning
But if I’m honest it’ll do just fine
This could have been a good death
This could be the best possible way to end
Everybody floods the room and screams oh my god the glitter kid’s dead
This coulda been a good life
I woulda been so happy living like this
But now it’s time for me to say good bye
See you later that’s it
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6. |
Aspartame
03:17
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Can someone remind me why I’m doing this at all
Fight off the monsters from under your bed
Meanwhile blood sucking demons are gnawing at my soul
And I think that I’m better off dead
But I’m your therapist unreciprocated
Put you back together with my own pieces
You know it leaves me in ruins
No ones gonna save me I should have learned
I’m supposed to do this on my own
I’m sorry if this one gets way too honest
I’ll bite off my tongue just to let you breathe
I hope you feel better
I hope you feel safer
I hope you know you’ll be the death of me
Why does it only ever seem to hurt when I smile
Why do I feel all alone in rooms that are full
Is this my penance is this what I deserve
If there’s a god isn’t she merciful
I don’t think they could save me now
But don’t sweat it forget it I’ll be dead in a second
No funerals I hate them
I’d hate to think you cared about your therapist
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7. |
Pinky Swear
03:38
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It doesn’t get better than this
Is that supposed to be a comfort
Knowing that I’m stagnant
I’ve been staring at the mouse in the glue trap for what feels like a year
And I know how it feels
I’m sure as hell not healthy
I’m just having a string of good days
What right do I have
To claim I’ve changed
So send help
Race the clock and I’m falling behind
I’m not well
Feels like I’m living on borrowed time
I don’t care
To look back at how far I’ve come
When I’m done
I wanna say I left a legacy behind
My father told me he’d be proud
As long as I went to school
My mother pretends that she doesn’t have a clue
Now I’m just a deadbeat
Who’s trying to fly
Feel the gravity of everyone else’s planes as they fly by
Everything feels like the future except for us these days
How long will it take
To change my ways
Would you forgive me if I died tonight
‘Cause this life’s left me unsatisfied
I can’t fake this healthy facade anymore
Remember how I loved you
I don’t wanna leave you behind
I’ve been screaming my lungs out and this song is getting old
I’m inconsequential in a world that doesn’t care for me at all
How long will it take
Before I decide to end it all
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8. |
Lakehouse
03:25
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Hey Jonathan, how’s it going? It’s been a while since we last talked.
Are you still in that phase of your life where that boy didn’t like your song?
You acted like you didn’t care.
You cared very much.
Hey here’s a treat in a couple of years,
Maybe five at the least.
Someone out there will sing along.
You just have to stay strong.
Hey how’s it going?
How ya’ feeling?
How’s it been?
What’s going on behind your eyes when you show the people your grin?
It’s been a while since we last talked I hope everything is okay,
and that you’ve learned to cope when the world doesn’t go your way.
Hey Jonathan, how many times will you say sorry?
That you’ll never touch tequila, bourbon, or bacardi,
And last night was a stupid mistake.
You can’t bear to repeat but you’ll do it again.
Just give it a week.
I asked you to stay strong,
You couldn’t keep your chin up for me.
Hey, how ya’ doin?
How ya’ feeling?
Hope you’re good.
You let me down just like I knew you would.
Keep on trying, get on that horse again.
We’ll see how you’re feeling then
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9. |
Putting On The Guise
03:53
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Shhh
Are you upset
You know what they say about boys with voices in their heads
Go on make a scene
Your fragile ego took a hit
It’s time to kick and scream
I’m so fucking happy
See the smile on my face
I hope you’re laughing
Because tears of a clown are all for show
And I wanna let you know I’m doing great
Go on play it up
Spike the camera hard as you can and hope someone calls your bluff
A hole punched in the wall
Bloody knuckles on your fist ‘cause you’re your mothers son
And you wonder why I don’t like you
And you wonder where everyone’s gone
No one in this wicked world will trust you
Or send help when you’re alone
This could have been a good death
But that boy didn’t like my song and I acted like I didn’t care
I’m supposed to be your therapist
But we’re all evil after all
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10. |
After Hours Comedy
06:18
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So this is how the world ends
I’ve lost all of my friends
The air’s on fire
A loaded gun to my throat
I don’t need a rope
There’s no talking myself down this time
I am stronger
Than I was before
But facts are facts and I wasn’t meant to last this long
I survived
Broken clock’s right twice a day
Meet me at the tomb and you can watch me waste away
So this is how the world ends
It bends you ‘til you break down
Disemboweled and broken spine I’m gutless
Now that I’m all dried up
I’m at the end of my road
The cliff is steep and it’s enticing as hell
So this is how the world ends
I tricked myself again
I thought there was a chance
But I should know better
After everything I’ve weathered
That’s not how this plays out
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11. |
Bed Song
05:07
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Petulant child do you feel gifted ‘cause you’re paying the price
A work ethic built on avarice
Gonna earn yourself something nice
I believe I’m destined for greatness but then
Consign myself to defeat
Cruel ironic dichotomy take a hatchet right through me
Just put it to bed she said
Gotta let it go
‘Cause it’s all in your head
I know this life ain’t exactly what you want it to be
But we can be so much more don’t you trust me
Forgive me for being a downer
I hope you understand
Mommy said I could be anything if I believed in my blessed hands
My relationship with what I creates more like Frankenstein than God
If I keep letting myself down how can I count on anyone
Every night I go to sleep
Just to wake up
When I’m upset
I bury my head
Just to wake up
I’m so tired of living my life just to wake up
I swear to God I’ll end this facade
I don’t wanna wake up ever again
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Bullpup Lowell, Massachusetts
come join the burlesque. Theater emo for theatre emos.
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